Weekly Journal #2

God Time
"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want." Psalm 23:1 NKJV

This past week God has been giving me insight into the life of David. David was called apart, he was called to lead. During lectures this past week or even just talking with people on base, David kept popping into my head. Especially his famous psalm 23. He was so close-knit to God that he could write about it in multiple ways and not grow weary. If you haven't read psalm 23 in a while, I encourage you to go read it and perceive it through the eyes of David. As one king bows down to another.

During quiet times with God, He would reveal David's heart to me little by little. David was a mighty warrior, a magnificent king but also a masterful worshiper. I know God has given me a heart like David's. I have a heart to break for what breaks God's. I'm learning to get excited when He gets excited and to mourn when He mourns. I only ask that he reveals it to me more and more over these next couple months. It will only happen as I spend more time with him like a son spends time with his father.

Filling the Gap
"But Jesus said, Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 19:14 NKJV

My heart has been heavy this week with everything that has been going on in Syria. Today we led an intercessory prayer for Syria and everyone involved. We were going to pray for different subjects and different topics depending on what the Holy Spirit was laying on our hearts. If you are unaware of what's going on here is a link describing it.

Syrian Problems

God broke my heart for the Syrian children. I mourned for the death of at least 426 children that didn't even have a part in any of the violence. I looked into His face and saw tears running down His face. I was BROKEN for these children as Christ was. In my disheveled state while interceding for the country, God showed me the children. I saw all of them, all 426 of them. I saw them dancing and singing before the throne. I saw them in such a state of excitement and peace that I began to laugh and/or cry out loud in the middle of intercession. God has given me compassion for children, He has just dropped it in my lap since I've been here. I pray that He shows me His heart for children more and more each and every day.

Listening to God
"For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called." 1 Corinthians 1:26 NKJV

I'm going to be totally transparent and open with all of you. I've never seen myself as a leader. I've always been introverted and insecure about who I am. Back home there has been multiple occasions from multiple people telling me in multiple ways that I'm going to be a leader. I've always heard it but never accepted. I've always listened but never believed.

Until now...

Last Thursday we had community worship. I was just resting in the presence of peace when someone came up to me. They said they felt God was telling them to tell me something He had placed on their heart. After a brief exchange they told me God has called me to be a leader in such a time as this. After they left, I began to battle with myself. I became overwhelmed and slightly frustrated with God's idea of communication.

"I've heard this before God but it doesn't change the fact that I don't believe you."

Within 5 minutes, someone else approached me with another word. They felt God's word for me was that I'm here now, I'm not the same person I was back home. Their words exactly.."I don't know if you were shy or insecure back home but God says that's not who you are. He is calling you out of that." At this point I'm starting to understand what God is doing within me. This is a new season in my life.

"Okay God, I'm starting to see how you want me to understand this. But maybe you could give me just one more word?"

At this point I'm just curious if he will. I'm wondering if he will actually answer me and show me without a shadow of a doubt that he has called me to be a leader. Unfortunately no one approached me. I was slightly disappointed but honestly not too much. But just in that moment, God reminded me. I had received a piece of paper from someone earlier that morning that they felt they needed to give to me. I went over to my bible, pulled it out, opened it up and read it. "Because of your heart so full of love and humility, your ears that are always so attentive to what I'm saying, and your eyes that are always looking for the good in people, I have chosen you to be a mighty leader."

"This cannot be coincidence. Okay, I see it now. I'll trust you God. The only way I can lead others is if I can follow you. Show me."

Life Application
"Let us make man in Our image." Genesis 1:26 NKJV

God has shown me that he is our father. I've grown up in the church and known that God is my father but to what extent? I use the word but don't know the meaning. I submit to the King but don't know the Father's love. Chris Twinn, our speaker this week, lead us through a rigorous week of what it means to be a son and a daughter of Christ. We are legitimately made in likeness of God. Although I love my earthly father very much, I was knit together by my heavenly Father. I give him all of my love and he has nothing but love in return.